Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Colorful Bandaids: The Shifting of Sibling Rivalry in the Beehive

For a while there, it seemed like the kids would never be friends. Ever.

The Bear could not walk by The Bird without giving her the shoulder. Consequently, when he would get near her she would start yelling and crying whether he engaged or not.  

DaveBee and I felt like we were walking a tight rope teaching them compassion, empathy and right from "she's too little swing around by her arm!" We were so careful in choosing our words and sometimes we chose to say nothing and let them work it out and other times we had to intervene! 

"No, go pick her up and give her some love!"

"You need a break because that is the 27th time you have done that today!"

"Now, don't cry if he simply walks by you without touching you."

"Wait, get back here and help her up, first!"

"Wait, he's just trying to give you a hug!"

"She does love you she is just used to you knocking her over...that's why she doesn't want a hug."

UGH!

But, today something momentous happened. A series of things, really.  Some of these things definitely have occurred in the past but were usually fleeting.  I feel like an axis is tilting somewhere and balance is becoming restored in the Beehive!

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The Bear and The Bird came in the big bed early for a snuggle.  Instead of The Bear sliding out of bed the moment The Bird arrives he actually stayed.  He reached over the sleepy lump that was me and caressed her sweet cheek and said "good morning, sugar plum."

I immediately put on my glasses to double check that it was truly The Bear in the bed!

The other awesome part of this is that The Bird received the caress with a sweet, sleepy smile instead of grunting in response. 

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After shopping today The Bear held out his hand to The Bird when we started walking outside.  She gladly accepted.

These are the rare moments I just keep my mouth closed.

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The Bird was upset about her mean 'ol mom not letting her roll down her window on the freeway. While she was crying The Bear said, "It's ok sissy, we can roll them down soon!"  The Bear then proceeded do something to make The Bird laugh out loud. 

 The gravity of this relationship formation starting hitting me fully when he jovially said to me: "Sissy is so silly.  She is so sweet and so silly."  

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When The Bird got up from her nap she had this unrelenting scowl because she had discovered this microscopic, ancient scab on her foot. 
I tried to no avail to distract her while The Bear simply went and got the colorful bandaids.  He gently put it on the scab and contentment was restored.

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This is not to say that between these gentle moments there wasn't discord 
but 
for a brief moment I could feel this new balance happening.  It may not be our parenting, it may be that their age difference is becoming less noticeable, or, who knows, it may even be because the actually like each other. I even had flash-forward of a beautiful friendship in their future.  Stranger things have happened.







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