Pushed to your own personal limits?
Felt the ecstatic love one only feels for their offspring?
Ya, me too.
Today, my kiddos had me on the brink of tears one moment and not thirty minutes later I felt like the luckiest mama in the whole big planet earth.
First, there was an elbow here and a shove there. Then, right there in the middle of the children's section of our library, my kids were fighting over the computer. I tried pulling the Bird out of the situation to talk it out. Between screams (she only really had one volume: loud) I tripped over my words to try and calm the disgruntled 20 month old. It worked momentarily and then the screeches resumed. I could not console her or get her to understand we couldn't scream in the library. Every attempt seemed to make her more upset! A mama I know asked if she could help and I weighed my options: Let her calm down on her own time (not sure why it hadn't happened already), or get the hell out of dodge. I chose the latter.
I'm a believer that if you explain to your kids what will be happening next that it will go far smoother. I started telling the Bird in my arms and the Bear on the computer that we were leaving; it didn't go so well. The volume on the Bird's wails increased and I am pretty sure the Bear could only make out that we were leaving and was not happy. As I was removing the headphones from a pissed-off Bear and sliding him off the seat I caught a glimpse of an angel. She was a mom of two kids just like me. She mouthed the words: "You are handling this so calmly." I was so grateful could have cried. I didn't, but instead I mustered up freakish mom strength and picked up my almost four year old with my right arm matching the toddler on my left hip and high-tailed it out of there.
By the time we drove the two miles home they were both my best friends again but not without pink eyebrows and the light, white film of where tears had spurted moments earlier.
I decided lunch then nap time were our next steps.
After sitting between them at the dining room table to preemptively eliminate any elbows being thrown I found my smile returning. They were tired. They were hungry. They were scooting their booster-clad chairs closer and closer to me to get bites of my lunch. My boxed Indian palak paneer trumped their peanut butter and honey sandwiches.
Their peanut butter faces wanted bite after bite. I couldn't tell if they were truly enjoying the dish or if they were trying to get back in my good graces but regardless, it was working. The Bear was hugging my arm and smearing sticky honey and Indian food on my sleeve while the Bird blessed me with tiny, tiny bird kisses that only she can do. Both had these rediculously heart-warming grins. My blood-pressure returned to normal and I could feel the creases of my smile lines making a more permanent home on my face. My emotional roller coaster was pulling into where it started.
And all was right in the whole big planet earth... until nap time.
